Blaming someone for the ways they hurt you or pointing out what they did wrong only makes you look bad. It certainly does not endear them to you. Playing the victim will never get you what you want, just the opposite. The best way to get someone to do what …
Do I Have Only One Soul Mate?
Finding the love of your life, your one soul mate, can feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. So when you deeply connect with someone it’s extremely hard to let go if it doesn’t work out. But if you decide to think that was your only chance at …
Should I Be Friends With My Ex?
Clients frequently ask me, “Should I be friends with my ex?” Well. if you were to be completely honest with yourself, I think you would know that you do not want to be friends with your ex. What you want is to keep him or her in your life because …
Should I Have Sex With My Ex?
Sex can be an awful lot like comfort food. In the moment, it’s all about pleasure. It’s hot, fun, and yummy—sometimes even decadent—and the consequences are far from any present concern. But when it’s over, you might not be left feeling comfortable. You may even feel a lot worse. If …
How to Stop Being Angry
When you’re angry do you vent to anyone who will listen? If you’re angry at your ex or anyone else do you fantasize about how you would like to tell them off or contemplate how to get revenge? If so, does it help you feel better? Or if you were …
Should We Get Back Together?
Most of my clients come to me wanting their ex back. Sometimes it truly was a relationship worth saving, and I help reunite them and make it even better than it was before. However, more frequently I end up showing him or her how their relationship was dysfunction, and why …
The Truth About the First Two Months of a Relationship
When you know you know! How many times have you heard someone say that? Many people will say they knew right away that he or she was “the one” as soon as they met their husband or wife. But in reality, you can only know that a person has great …
Are You Pining For Your Relationship’s Amazing Beginning?
Are you holding on to the fantasy that all the good things that happened at the beginning of your relationship truly define who your lover is? Are you hoping he or she will change and go back to being the ideal partner you initially thought he or she was? Pining …
How to Stop Feeling Rejected
Your perception is your reality. Your brain receives stimuli and information and forms an opinion. What makes relationships tricky is that no two brains perceive information the same way, not even in identical twins. So what seems very real to you may seem ridiculous to someone else. This doesn’t make …
Getting Revenge on Your Ex
They say success is the best revenge. But that’s only true if you’re not trying to get revenge. So if you’re thinking about getting revenge on your ex I warn you it may backfire. Anything you do to purposefully show off for your ex is always transparent, and typically makes …
Why You Need to Stop Cyber Stalking Your Ex
A social media user has easy access to potential heartbreak. That’s why you need to stop cyber stalking your ex. I’ve always believed that snooping is a bad idea. If you find something that upsets you in your snooping, you can’t ask about it without admitting that you were snooping. …
What Do You Do When the ONE You Wanted Marries Someone Else?
“He just met her… She’s supposed to be his transitional person; she’s not supposed to be the ONE. All this time I thought he didn’t want to get married. But, the truth is, he didn’t want to marry me.” Meg Ryan’s line from When Harry Met Sally speaks for many …
Why You’re Still Single
Many times when I try to help a client or friend see that their relationship is not good for them, their response is that all relationships have problems. Their view is that someone else will just bring another set of difficulties or even the same ones. So they might as …
The Truth About How to Get Your Ex Back
If you do an Internet search for “How to Get Your Ex Back” you’ll find pages of videos, downloadable answers (for a price), and even a few guarantees from non-accredited individuals who promise they have the solution you so desperately want. But this is a cold hard fact: PEOPLE HAVE …
Dealing With the Anger of a Breakup
Question: How do I get rid of the anger I have for past boyfriends who broke my heart? I am particularly angry at the men who said we would get married and without any warning ended the relationship and immediately started dating other women before our relationship was officially over, …