Your perception is your reality. Your brain receives stimuli and information and forms an opinion. What makes relationships tricky is that no two brains perceive information the same way, not even in identical twins. So what seems very real to you may seem ridiculous to someone else. This doesn’t make either of you wrong; it just means that your perceptions are different. When a person breaks up with you, he or she does so because his or her perception is that you don’t work together. If you perceive it differently, you find yourself tempted to try to change his perception. But you can never control someone else. You can only control you, so it’s your perception you need to change.
We do have free will over our perceptions. We can choose to seek additional information and consider other people’s perceptions as a way to fine-tune our own perceptions. We can also choose to adopt a positive perception that will give us power.
How do you stop feeling rejected? Change your perception. Stop viewing it as rejection. If some clueless person doesn’t see how truly special you are, then you don’t want her anyway! It doesn’t matter how great you may think she is. Think again. If she doesn’t appreciate you, then she’s not good enough for you. Period. Let her go, and move on to the next. I do know that can be a difficult pill to swallow, especially when you really like somebody. But if you start jumping through hoops and doing other silly things, trying to make her want you, then you’re negatively changing her perception. You’re making yourself less attractive, and you’re damaging your self-esteem. Love yourself first. Don’t waste any precious time on any person who doesn’t adore you. It’s all a matter of how you choose to perceive it. Focus on her negative attributes and trust that there will be someone better. If you don’t want someone, then you can’t be rejected.
Need help getting over a breakup? Call me for Breakup Coaching. I may even be available right now.